Tyler's Birthday, and more

February is here, which brings us up to 15 months without Tyler. It's his birthday on the 26th. It's a harder birthday than his last. He was 2 1/2 and we knew 3 was coming, but this year he would've been 4, which seems like such a big number. He should be in preschool, talking and learning. Enjoying life. Now he's had 2 birthdays here and 2 in Heaven. In 7 months, Gabriel will be older than Tyler was. In a way, it has been a little easier these days, but in other ways it has been much harder. Memories fading, people stop talking about him, we wonder what he would've been doing, and what it would be like to still have 3 boys playing together. Overall, it just sucks. I try to keep in mind that he isn't dealing with cancer anymore, we will never have to deal with another relapse and worry about complications and side effects. He is free to be perfect and never suffer again. Too bad we can't say the same for ourselves.

We are doing what we did last year, collecting birthday gifts and donating them to Children's. If anyone would like to participate, you can drop something off, mail or paypal funds and I'll go shopping. I've been looking at the clearance racks, lots of good after Christmas deals on toys there still. My email is gpxchick@hotmail.com. Use that for paypal or email me for my address. I was impressed with the participation last year, I was able to bring several big boxes of toys and things down to Childrens. Of course everything was fresh and new then, I haven't gotten much of a response this year, other than a few dedicated friends. I'm hoping to have a decent amount to go down there with though.

I hadn't posted about this yet, I was waiting to take pictures and it was super dirty before, thanks to our lovely salty winter roads. It warmed up to 28 degrees the other day, so I got the salt off and it looks better now. We got this 2005 Dodge Magnum shortly after Christmas. Traded my car in and got a good deal on it. I'm liking it, lots of storage space in the back, big backseat for 3 carseats, and it has some nice gadgets my car didn't have either, like 6 disc CD player, sunroof, heated leather seats, and all those things that I wasn't looking for, but it happened to have. Works for me! I now have Gabriel rear facing behind the drivers seat and my long legs are not squished! It's way roomier than my old car, and it's nice when it's just Gabriel and I during the day, I have him on the same side and it's really convenient. We still have the van too, but it needs a lot of work done over the summer and we didn't want 2 iffy vehicles. Dan is driving the van for now. Hopefully it'll hang in there with its issues until it warms up.

 

Gabriel's hair was getting out of control. I have trimmed it a few times, but it really needed a full haircut. So I brought him in and finally let them transform my sweet baby into a little boy. *sniffle*

He sat pretty still during it all. She gave him some combs to keep him occupied, then a sucker at the end to get him the rest of the way through. I never had to hold him still or anything though! That's a first, I still have to hold Dawson still during several parts.

 

 Yep, that baby fluffy hair is gone! He looks so much older now. Sometimes I see him across the room and see Tyler, it's crazy how much they look alike with certain faces and smiles.

 I still have my baby blue eyes though, mom!

 

 The other day Gabriel brought me a little toy umbrella. I told him what it was, he wanted me to repeat it many times, but still looked puzzled as to what it was. So I got a real one out. He was very impressed!

 Haircut from the side. It was wispy over his ears, neck and everything. He seems to enjoy it being out of his face and everywhere.

 Dawson got his cut too. He did pretty well sitting still for them. The lady was amused that he kept saying Ow!

 

Dawson had a couple of rough weeks at school, but after a lot of talking and a bunch of laxitives, the problem was solved. He's in a much better mood now and has been making better choices. His Autism Therapy has started taking him out into the community to work on some new goals. Staying in sight of the adult he's with, walking nice, engaging in play with other kids, cooperative play with other kids, etc. He will go to the library, mall play area, the park's indoor playroom. He did great on his first day out and will be going twice a week starting this week.

 

I did some window shopping and some errands this weekend and he was great in the store! Much more mindful of listening and staying closer to me. It was a very nice improvement. Something I've been working on for a long time now, and therapy has been working on since this summer. It's exciting that he's able to try out his new skills while out and about as well.

 

I've been having a lot of morning sickness. Not nausea or vomiting, but the things I can eat and keep down are very few. So as long as I eat something that agrees with me, I'm fine. But I have to eat often, and the things that are ok to eat keep changing! I'm wishing this baby would make up its mind. I'm 9 weeks now, and looking forward to March so I can hopefully get my appetite back. I'm getting tired of the few foods I'm able to eat and it's been a long 5 weeks of this so far. About 3 more to go. I'm also getting anxious to know the gender so I can get to shopping and gathering what I need. I've really been itching to start, and I know it's super early, but I'm just impatient about this stuff. ;)  So I've been window shopping and dreaming, and that's been holding me off for the time. April 23rd is my ultrasound. My appointment this month I have to take the yucky glucose test. Because I have large babies, I have to take it twice each pregnancy instead of once. Even though it's never came back positive before. I'm really hoping for some energy back during 2nd trimester. It is gone and this place is suffering because of it. Thankfully Dan is awesome and has been helping out a lot, despite working 10 hour days all week, plus 8 on saturday. I feel bad. Hopefully I can make it up to him soon! There's still a lot to be done.

 

Gabriel has been learning new words and phrases, picking up on things quickly. He corrected my mom when we were over there. He showed her a toy animal and she said "duck", and he looked at her funny and said "goose!". She assumed he didn't know all the bird names yet! Sometimes I'll ask him for something and he'll go get it, which always surprises me. I never actually expect him to know it, but he's brought me a bowl, a ball, my drink, his sippy, a certain toy. Even if he has to go to the kitchen to get it. He has a bit of a studder with a couple words, but it's common at this age Ive heard and he doesn't do it with any other words, so I'm not concerned. Just something I hadn't seen before with my kids. There's always something new to learn, even after 2 special ed kids and a Child Development degree. They still manage to keep things interesting and surprise me with something new. As long as it's not something huge and traumatic, they can go ahead!